The Yuckiest Morning Ever
by dead roses
Summary: Maurader's based. Sirus loses a bet to James and has to pay up


All right, I love the Mauraders and thought I'd write something quick. This is **not** a Sirius/James. I thought I'd add that because my sis read the lead in and started getting freaked and I had to say "keep going." When she understood, she had a pretty good laugh about it.

Anyway, I don't own any of these characters and I hope you enjoy

The alarm clock rang at 6 am on Saturday morning and as it did, a tall boy with dark hair and hazel eyes jumped joyously out of bed as though he had been anticipating it for some time. Pulling on a pair of jeans, he looked at the bed across from him and its inhabitant who had covered his face with a pillow as though to drown out the rest of the world.

"C'mon mate! It's 6am!" Sirius Black nearly prickled with irritation to hear such enthusiasm in his friend's voice…almost. Truth be told, he was far too lazy and tired to waste the effort in being irritated. Rather, he clutched his pillow tighter over his head and did his best to burrow his face into his mattress.

"Oh, no you don't!" exclaimed James, poking at Sirius' hamstring through the bed covers with his wand. Sirius gave a muffled grunt by way of response.

"You promised, Black. Time to pay up," he poked a little higher up Sirius' leg. One of Sirius' hands shot out to the bedside table fumbling around and finally coming to rest on something hard; a shrunken head his mum had been nice enough to send for Christmas, he seized it and clumsily chucked it in the direction of James' voice. James easily stood aside and a dull thud was heard.

"You're a right grouch in the morning, aren't you?" Sirius made absolutely no response even when James poked him particularly hard on the upper thigh.

"Look, mate. There's only one more place this wand can go and I don't want to have to-" Before James could even begin to finish the sentence, Black was up and out of bed, standing at the dormitory door, looking impatient with James for holding him up. James just grinned though he was a little offended by this sudden burst of energy in response to his offer.

"Right, well off we go."

The two boys made there way downstairs and out onto the castle lawns, James scanning all the neat patches of grass, looking for the perfect one.

"Ok," he bent and picked up a stick, "this look like an ok one to you?"

Sirius shot him a death glare, "Right, because I'm supposed to have had plenty of practice at this?"

"Tsk tsk. Now, is that a good attitude to be sporting on a Saturday morning?"

"I should be in bed dreaming of boobs…and milk bones, not out on this frozen lawn at 6:30 in the bloody morning!"

"Heh, guess you better watch what bets you make next time." Sirius just shot him a filthy look. Earlier in the week, Sirius had bet James that he couldn't eat 500 chocolate frogs in the course of a day. He had figured that James wouldn't be dumb enough to scarf that much food. He had thought wrong. After having his ruptured spleen, torn stomach lining and heart palpitations fixed, James had hunted down Sirius and informed him of what he wanted for winning the bet.

"Right, well, let's get started then. Go on. Do your thing."

"Right here? On the lawn where everyone can see me transform?" Sirius asked incredulously.

"Oh, ok, go find a bush or something but get back here. Grunting, Sirius found a convenient cluster of bushes and proceeded to transform into his dog shape. Trudging back to James, he saw his friend fumbling in his robes for something.

"Here we are!" James said excitedly, pulling out a black leather collar, "I made the name tag myself," Sirius gazed at a shiny silver nametag which read, "Mr. Snuffles." He gave an indignant growl to indicate that he thought "Mr. Snuffles" had to be the dumbest name he ever heard.

"Hey, I never had a dog, but if I had, I would have named him Mr. Snuffles and I won't have you ruining this experience for me. Sniffing loudly, Sirius sat back on his haunches and let James put the collar round his neck.

"All right, boy," James said excitedly, "See the stick?" he waved it roughly in Sirius' face, "Fetch boy!" and with that, James threw the stick with all his might. Sirius just watched as the stick soared away, farther than he really felt like running. With a sigh, he began to trudge after the offending piece of shrubbery.

"Mr. Snuffles! Run and get it so I can throw it again!" This was horrible. He was going to have to exercise! Normally he kept his figure by being too lazy to walk down to the Great Hall for food. Willing himself into action, Sirius ran after the stick, picked it up in his mouth, gagging on the vile taste of tree sap and ran back to James with it. This continued for a good half hour; Sirius running back and forth across the lawn with that stick and James laughing and clapping his hands happily. How the hell could he find this entertaining? Sirius was positive that at heart, James was a sadist.

"Where'd that dog come from, Potter?" Sirius was sprinting to get the stick after a painfully long throw and glanced to see Lilly Evans walking in their direction.

"Oh, he's mine," James said casually.

"Really?" Lilly quirked an eyebrow, "I haven't seen him around here before. What's his name?"

James puffed out his chest, "His name's 'Killer.' Er, better watch out, Lilly," James placed a protective hand on her shoulder. "I named him that for a reason. I wouldn't want you to get hurt." Lilly shrugged away from his touch and held her hand out as Sirius came bounding back.

Seeing the chance to be mischievous, Sirius jumped, knocking Lilly to the ground and began giving her sloppy-dog kisses all over her face and mouth.

"Hey! Stop that!" James yelled angrily, "Get off her Mr. Snu- er Killer!"

"Calm down, Podder," Lilly's voice was muffled by a particularly sloppy puppy kiss. Sirius looked over his shoulder and saw James, with his fists clenched, staring venomously. Sirius gave him a quick wink, deposited one more saliva-infused lick on Lilly and bolted away toward the edge of the grounds, looking for a place to transform in.

"Your dog!" He heard Lilly exclaim and grinned inwardly when he heard James reply bitterly, "he'll be fine on his own. More trouble than he's worth…"


End file.
